The Official Online Beach House Of The World's #1 Vacation Expert

alexispereira:

I think we should give a break to taking a break.

Every fuck’n day, I see a news story attacking somebody for taking a vacation.

The President gets it a lot. Now the Mayor of NYC. CEOs. Celebrities. Basically anybody in the public eye is attacked and/or mocked for going on vacation.

And I know…

thechrisgethardshow:

Vacation Jason demonstrates a call of… something.

CREATURES OF THE WILDERNESS…HEAR ME

Straight up:
This document heretoforth notifies all parties that #1 Vacation Expert Vacation Jason can make appearances on the Chris Gethard Show as often as he fucking wants to. Googy googy googy, Coconut Berry Lemon Tree. Gethard is a hillbilly. Pao Pao PAOOOOOOO. Yes. Oh yes.
Signed, Vacation Jason and Chris Gethard
This is the extremely legitimate contract I tricked Gethard into signing, guaranteeing my legacy on TCGS. The contract was seen in this clip during TCGS episode #78, and was lost until earlier today when the tropical breeze blew my pile of untouched legal paperwork onto my kitchen counter.

Straight up:

This document heretoforth notifies all parties that #1 Vacation Expert Vacation Jason can make appearances on the Chris Gethard Show as often as he fucking wants to. Googy googy googy, Coconut Berry Lemon Tree. Gethard is a hillbilly. Pao Pao PAOOOOOOO. Yes. Oh yes.

Signed, Vacation Jason and Chris Gethard

This is the extremely legitimate contract I tricked Gethard into signing, guaranteeing my legacy on TCGS. The contract was seen in this clip during TCGS episode #78, and was lost until earlier today when the tropical breeze blew my pile of untouched legal paperwork onto my kitchen counter.

One time I ate so much world class Hawaiian seafood I had to lay down.
Beautiful perfect beach sand in my bathing suit area.
Sunset had too much blue in it when it’s supposed to be all orange and shit.
Fruit had a bug crawling on it because I dropped it in the ground.
Hammock got old and I had to buy a new one.
TURTLE BABY CRAWLED OUT OF THE SAND AND DIDN’T TELL ME.
Macadamia isn’t hard to spell anymore but it used to be like “yo chill”
Dune buggy not as fuel efficient as new 2015 dune buggy model.
The shell I yell into is not a real phone.
I was on a BENCH listening to RAP on my headphones and lip synching all the words and nobody noticed my accuracy and passion.
They won’t let me walk into the movies for free.
Surfer dudes want bracelets in exchange for surfing lessons and I’m like MAN I CAN ONLY MAKE SO MANY IN A DAY
Hula Girls play mindgames.
You have to hold your breath when you go swimming.
When people recognize me they buy me souvenir coconut monkeys like I don’t already have a million.
I TOUCHED FIRE.
Dolphin Man doesn’t remember his roots. (He used to be a man but got reconstructive surgery and now he goes by Dolphin Man. He lives in the water 24/7 and only speaks to dolphins now. He was on my beach volleyball team and we really could have used his impeccable serve this season. He’s happy but at a pretty drastic cost to pretty much every aspect of his daily life. Whatever I can’t hate.)
I see a lot of boats with funny names and I’m like “I wish I thought of that.”
  1. One time I ate so much world class Hawaiian seafood I had to lay down.
  2. Beautiful perfect beach sand in my bathing suit area.
  3. Sunset had too much blue in it when it’s supposed to be all orange and shit.
  4. Fruit had a bug crawling on it because I dropped it in the ground.
  5. Hammock got old and I had to buy a new one.
  6. TURTLE BABY CRAWLED OUT OF THE SAND AND DIDN’T TELL ME.
  7. Macadamia isn’t hard to spell anymore but it used to be like “yo chill”
  8. Dune buggy not as fuel efficient as new 2015 dune buggy model.
  9. The shell I yell into is not a real phone.
  10. I was on a BENCH listening to RAP on my headphones and lip synching all the words and nobody noticed my accuracy and passion.
  11. They won’t let me walk into the movies for free.
  12. Surfer dudes want bracelets in exchange for surfing lessons and I’m like MAN I CAN ONLY MAKE SO MANY IN A DAY
  13. Hula Girls play mindgames.
  14. You have to hold your breath when you go swimming.
  15. When people recognize me they buy me souvenir coconut monkeys like I don’t already have a million.
  16. I TOUCHED FIRE.
  17. Dolphin Man doesn’t remember his roots. (He used to be a man but got reconstructive surgery and now he goes by Dolphin Man. He lives in the water 24/7 and only speaks to dolphins now. He was on my beach volleyball team and we really could have used his impeccable serve this season. He’s happy but at a pretty drastic cost to pretty much every aspect of his daily life. Whatever I can’t hate.)
  18. I see a lot of boats with funny names and I’m like “I wish I thought of that.”

(Source: justtheweather)

donrickles:

Vacation Jason’s Island Flavors is up online and it is glorious. This is from the stand-up portion but it’s a full variety show, with everything you could want. I’m tempted to make about a thousand gifs but really you should just go watch it and appreciate it that way.

I am an iconic statuesque theatre maven. I shook the world with my magnum opus sketch comedy show.

talkingtcgs:

The getaway enthusiast. Comedian. Rapper. Fruit lover. Co-host on a podcast? Riley Soloner is in the guest seat this week to discuss all things Vacation Jason! Joined by Griffin and Mr. David Sims (The Atlantic Wire, The A.V. Club), the gang looks back at the first invention of the breakout TCGS character and the influences that all culminated into the now infamous Austin 2011 performance. Stay tuned this Thursday for Part II and find out who won Haunted March Madness! (Note: Shoes are not recommended while listening.)

You have a decision. Do you listen to the story of a champion, or do you decide that’s just too real?

tweetmadness:

64 tweeters enter, 1 wins it all.
Voting is now open

VOTE FOR VACATION JASON MOTHERFUKAAAAA

tweetmadness:

64 tweeters enter, 1 wins it all.

Voting is now open

VOTE FOR VACATION JASON MOTHERFUKAAAAA

thechrisgethardshow:

Uh. It seems a TCGS game is in the works?

YES! AMAZING!

I EXPLODE INTO PINEAPPLES WHEN I DIE!

Drop knowledge.

Drop knowledge.

Anonymous asked:

could you please break down everything sampled in "Intro" off 2013's smash island rap mixtape Coconut Berry Lemon Tree?

HELL YES I COULD.

  • Kokomo, The Beach Boys
  • Ultimate Vacation, Chamillionaire
  • Miami, Will Smith
  • Hawaii, The Strokes
  • This Land Is Your Land, Woody Guthrie
  • Escape (The Piña Colada Song), Rupert Holmes
  • Rockaway Beach, The Ramones
  • Theme From Hawaii 5-0
  • Vacation, The Go Go’s
  • Take It Off, The Donnas
  • Vacation, Connie Francis
  • Vacation, Young Jeezy
  • Arnold in Terminator 2 saying “I need a vacation.”
  • John Cleese in a travel ad saying “I need a vacation.”
  • Guy in the trailer for National Lampoon’s Vacation saying “vacation.”
  • Criminal, Eminem
  • Vacation, The Unlovables
  • Talk show host introducing a celebrity named Jason
  • Vacation, Fantasy’s Dream
  • Arsenio Hall introducing Jason Voorhees

thechrisgethardshow:

Vacation Jason Presents: Jason’s Vacations
Get Googy. Thursday.

COME WITH ME. ON VACATION.

thechrisgethardshow:

Vacation Jason Presents: Jason’s Vacations

Get Googy. Thursday.

COME WITH ME. ON VACATION.

kskill:

Vacation Jason gets googy on the set of our new video: Vacation Jason Presents: Jason’s Vacations. 
(Coming soon.)

CONEY IS AN ISLAND

kskill:

Vacation Jason gets googy on the set of our new video: Vacation Jason Presents: Jason’s Vacations

(Coming soon.)

CONEY IS AN ISLAND

(Source: kskill)

naomilikescats:

I made a thing.

naomilikescats:

I made a thing.

(Source: naomicalghouligan)

daisyrosario:

donrickles:

Vacation Jason’s Island Flavors is up online and it is glorious. This is from the stand-up portion but it’s a full variety show, with everything you could want. I’m tempted to make about a thousand gifs but really you should just go watch it and appreciate it that way.

I love this show so much.

I saw this show so many times.

I made some friends go see it for my birthday. 

Now you can see it. Here. Whenever you want. 

Lucky you. 

BASED ON THE TRUE STORY

robotriley:

7 DAYS OF VACATION JASON. A COUNTDOWN TO COCONUT BERRY LEMON TREE LIVE AT DEATH BY AUDIO.


Hello. I’m going to write a little bit about Vacation Jason for the next 7 days, leading up to the performance of the Vacation Jason mixtape Coconut Berry Lemon Tree at Death By Audio in Williamsburg. This project is obviously and shamelessly a rip off of Connor Ratliff’s extremely in depth, impressive, and fun retrospective of Elvis Costello’s career, 40 Days of Elvis Costello: A Countdown to Wise Up Ghost. You should check his writing out if you know anything or nothing about Elvis Costello. The amount of work Connor dedicated to it is quite amazing. My countdown will be less in-depth and amazing for several reasons:

  • My “career” as Vacation Jason is nowhere near as storied as Elvis Costello’s life work.
  • There are only 7 days until my show at Death By Audio
  • There are barely 7 days of things worth going into detail about when it comes to Vacation Jason.
  • I am chronicling my own thing, which feels and seems way more tacky than Connor passionately writing about his favorite musical artist.

But this might be interesting to somebody! So let’s get started at the beginning.

DAY 1: Vacation Jason is Born.

Summer 2009. Vacation Jason started as a character I would play at Camp Winnarainbow, a circus arts camp run by hippies in Northern California. I was 21 and working as a counselor. I had been a camper since age 13, not skipping one Summer until 2010 when I decided I had to stay devoted to improv classes at UCB and keep my job selling pizza in New York.

But in 2009, Camp was still the most important thing in my life, and with good reason. It’s the place where I really came out of my shell. I could be as goofy and weird as I wanted, and was 100% accepted for it. In earlier years, I had borrowed stolen a Lazer Tag vest from the camp’s Costume Barn and called myself Robot Riley whenever I wore it around. The rule was, when you saw me wearing the vest and sunglasses, standing upright and showing no emotion, I was Robot Riley, the robot Riley had built in his image to work at the camp while Riley napped. Kids would make a game out of how long I could keep up my robot persona. At the end of that particular Summer (‘07?) I took the vest home. Eventually, when I started making YouTube videos, I called myself RobotRiley, and Robot Riley became one of my characters.

The Adventures of Robot Riley in Space!

One Summer night in 2009, the camp staff was hanging out in the kitchen area. This particular night was in between camp sessions, meaning there were no kids or activities. So, I snuck into the Costume Barn looking for something silly to put on to make my friends laugh. The first thing that popped out at me was a black button down shirt with different fruits all over it. And then, the sunglasses. I walked back to the kitchen and insisted on being called “Vacation Jason.” I said I was a rapper that liked to rhyme.

"How often do I like to rhyme? All…the…day."

Eventually when camp started back up, kids from years previous who knew me as Robot Riley weren’t very impressed. They liked the Robot more, which is totally fair. They liked trying to trick me into admitting I was a human. They liked hearing me come up with fake technobabble devices that I had in my robot body. Vacation Jason, on the other hand, only bragged about being on Vacation and eating fruit. The character had basically nothing to it, except the volume of my voice and a name that almost rhymed.

And it would stay that way for almost five years.

TOMORROW: VACATION JASON TRAVELS FROM TROPICAL ISLANDS TO…THE INTERNET??